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If you’re ever in Juno or
on the IO
When the weather is cold an' it's looking like snow,
Give a listen to ol' Bill 'bout the evening he spent
With a feller called Whiskers, a fluky ol' gent.
It was winter in Texas an'
out on a hill,
Not a critter was sturrin', excepting ol' bill.
He was leading La Bruja 'long Dry Devil's draw,
Cause she'd gotten real buggered by something she saw.
Well, the wind was a-howlin'
an' bill was alone,
'Cause he'd left the Comanche to go on his own.
He'd got tired of a-raidin' for horses an' grub,
An' his one-legged squaw had a dangerous nub.
It was getting right chilly,
the sun a mite low,
An' the weather was fickle, a-looking like snow.
So he found him a cave an' a deer for some meat,
An' he built him a fire from a limb of Mesquite.
Whilst a-fixing his supper
an' dozing a bit
Ol' La Bruja commenced to pitching a fit,
So he went to the mare for to calm her a mite
An' to see what it was that was 'causing her fright.
Well, that crazy ol' hack was
a-bucking like sin,
An' when Badlands got closer she walloped his chin.
He went down on his rump with a thud in the dirt
An' then sat up a-rubbing the places that hurt.
Then he saw in the bushes a
queer-looking stage,
An' a scudder with whiskers, a-showing some age.
He was checking the rigging an' calling out names
Of the eight little deers a-wearing the hames!
When he'd finished his
checking an' shouldered his bag,
He went up to the mare and said, " Easy, ol'
nag."
She just simmered right down as if nothing was wrong,
An' then watched him go by a-humming some song.
Now, that codger was spry an'
he strode like a gent
Who had bidness to tend to where ever he went.
He said, "Howdy there Bill! I ain't seen ya'n a
spell.
Has the cat got your tongue? You ain't feeling so
well?"
But ol' Bill was okay, he's
just watching for sign
If that perky ol' buzzard was out of his mind.
Then he 'membered the gold Comancheros had paid
For the scalps he had taken or got In a trade.
So he offered his fire an' a
portion of meat,
As he rose from the ground an' got up on his feet;
But ol' Whiskers was quick to get into the light,
An' to get to the business that brought him that night.
"I can see by your ropas
(that's Spanish for clothes),
That you been with Comanche fer God-only-knows.
Now I know your a-aiming to leave 'em behind,
But the white-man is changin’ an' gettin' refined.
"Well your gonna see
thangs you ain't never before,
An' you might just decide you don't like 'em no more.
Now I ain't gonna say what you ought to go do,
But I brung you some thangs we been makin’ fer you.
"Here's some chaps an'
some shirts, an' some pants you kin wear.
Now, we gotta do somethin’ to cover that hair;
Here's a Stetson I saved, it'll last you awhile,
An' these black leather boots are the newest in
style!"
Now ol' Bill was amazed by
this generous deed,
An' how Whiskers had known him an' just what he'd need.
There was something' not right, he was mighty perplexed,
An' he never a-figgered on getting what's next.
When that hombre reached in
an' a saddle come out
With a blanket an' tack, there just wasn't a doubt
That La Bruja had kicked him too hard In the head,
An' ol' Whiskers was coming to gather the dead.
"What's the matter there
Bill? Is there somethin’ that's wrong?
You're a-looking right peaked, your face a mite long.
I ain't never afore seen a look o’ such woe,
It's a time to be happy, It's Christmas you know!"
That's when Badlands recalled
all the stories he'd hear
When the weather was cold an' his mama was near;
An' he 'membered her mention this feller in red
Who would shinny down chimneys an' looked over-fed.
It just had to be him, the
description was clear,
But he couldn't believe that ol' Whiskers was here.
So, he 'llowed he would pass on a-taking his hair,
As he poured up the coffee an' passed out the fare.
They both sat for a spell
without saying a word,
Just their slurping an smacking was all that was heard.
Then ol' Whiskers announced, "Well, there's places to
be,
An' I thank you, my friend, for your kindness to me."
"As you're blazin' the
trails to where ever they lead,
An’ your fortunes are few or you're down an' in need;
Just remember the Lord is along for the ride,
An' is quick to help-out whenever He’s tried."
With a wink of his eye an' a
twitch of his tail,
He was out of the cave an' a-hitting the trail.
He was plumb out of sight an' a-rounding the bend
When he hollered at Bill, "Merry Christmas, my
friend!"
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